Sadie's Advice for Craigslist Dating. Confession #151

Julian recently had a woman he bangs on occasion email me seeking advice on safely dating men she meets on Craigslist and how she can "weed out the crazies". He then suggested that I share my recommendations with you, my readers.

So here they are ~

1. Personally, I have not had a good experience with any guy who answered an ad that I posted. I have met several odd men, a couple of freaks and quite a few who pretended to be someone they were not, but never once have I met a guy who was at all worthwhile who answered my ad. So, therefore, I don't post ads much any more. On occasion I will, just to kinda see what/who's out there, but it never ever works. Stick to answering ads instead of posting them.

2. I respond well to ads that are more than just "Wanting to fuck today, come over". I like someone to tell me what they are looking for in the ad. The more they divulge the more real they become. It also means they can hold a conversation, which to me is important. Consider carefully what it is that you want and how they measure up within those parameters. 

3. Use your basic, god (or whatever it is) - given female instinct. Follow it. Always. If there is ONE thing you take from my advice, it's this. I have ignored it on more than one occasion and luckily all I got was scared. There were times that it could have been worse, I see now.

4. An adjunct to instinct is the background check. I have an account with Intelius and I now do a basic background check on most of the guys I hook up with (I think it's $35/report). Obviously, I don't background check them all, because I have met a couple of men at bars and gone home with them (trusting my judgement and my instinct - I once followed a guy to his home and everything inside me was screaming "NO!!" so when I got there I stayed in my car and told him goodbye, and went home). But, for CL guys, I almost always check them out first. Including Julian. 

5. When hooking up, meet first at a PUBLIC place (and don't leave your drink unattended!!!). I am constantly amazed at the number of women Julian gets to come to his home. It's fucking astounding to me. In fact, there is still a part of me who doesn't fully believe it because I can't imagine how women can be so, forgive me, stupid. And, I can say this because I have been this woman before! And, each time it was a

   "ohmyfuckinggodwhoisthisfreakandhowthehelldoigetoutofhereasfastaspossible???"

sort of moment. So, now I will never ever meet a guy for the first time at his house or office.

6. And lastly, Craigslist CAN work. There are real people looking for real relationships of all types posting ads online. Just be sure you know what it is you are looking for, otherwise it's a goose chase. Be specific and don't settle unless you decide to. I did! I fucked around on CL a lot in the beginning. It was fun, but always left me feeling a little empty. So, now I am super choosy about who I meet in person, and ultimately who I sleep with. I have an arsenal of men whom I have met on CL in the last few months. If I wanted to get laid, I have probably 20 men I could call or text or IM. But, because none of them are "just right" to me I would feel like I was settling. And that's just me being super finicky because now I know exactly what it is that I want. An FWB, emphasis on friend.

So, basically, determine what you want and go get it! It could take months or it could take a day, it just depends on who is out there at the same time you are....

Have fun and be safe!

* readers, please feel free to offer any other cautionary tidbits if you've got em!!!