Sometimes our Open Marriage is more like an eyes closed OM.
It's usually totally cool if one of us hooks up with someone else, but we aren't always that keen on seeing it.
Like Friday night. Julian came over for a few drinks with me and Hubby. We were all having a grand time, despite the initial, inevitable awkwardness. But, the conversation was as easy as pie, the laughter was flowing as quickly as the wine, and the cigarettes glowed as continuously as the stifling end-of-summer heat.
Until the embers abruptly stopped... because we ran out of smokes. So, Hubby volunteered to go to the store and grab another pack.
Meanwhile, probably due to my lack of restraint and Julian's desire to devour me, he and I started making out, right there on my patio. And it was fun, but Sadie wasn't paying attention to how long Hubby had been gone. So, of course, Hubby ended up walking in on my little smooch-session with Julian.
Which just sort of brought the uncomfortable-ness back into the vibe that we had all so carefully tried to ignore. So, soon thereafter it was time for Julian to leave. And, Hubby and I later decided that it's fine to hear about what we've been doing, but it isn't always all that fun to stumble upon it, without being prepared to witness it.
So, with our blindfolds back on, we continue to tackle the emotions that come into play when one of us meets someone new. And, like in the past, that concealing cloak will likely be removed one small piece at a time.
Because, sometimes, closing our eyes to something, and letting the rest of our senses and emotions take over their task, is the only way to really see it.
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