Oh So Close! Confession #139

I've just been talking with Jason, a cute guy that I met on Craigslist. He was coming closer than anyone has since Franco to becoming my possible FWB. Well, second only to my pal Julian. Jason and I have a good rapport, common interests and we're both attracted to each other. So, I was going to ask him to get a drink with me.

But, it ain't gonna happen.

Why? I will tell you. He told me that his wife has faced some incredibly serious adversity in her life. The short version that he gave me of her story made my heart sink into my stomach. They have only been married a short time but they are happy. They have great sex, but he (like many men) just needs "more".

I'm sorry, but I can't go there. I won't be a party to someone possibly shredding the heart of a woman who's faith in humankind is already precarious.

You know, I understand why men cheat. They want to get back that energy that they exchanged with their wives when they first became lovers. They want the quickened breaths and the sexy butterflies and the twinge in their cocks that they don't feel any more. It's why Hubby and I opened up our marriage. We want all of that, too.

But, what I really don't understand is why these men who miss these sexy feelings don't tell their wives that they miss it. Do they automatically assume that their wives do not? Are they afraid that their wives will scream at them and accuse them of cheating before they've even begun? Do they fear that if they open up about how they need some spice in their sex lives that their wives will agree, and want to make some changes themselves?

I suspect it is all of these things. And, what I have to say in that case is... Man the Fuck Up.

Talk to your wives. Have an intelligent, adult conversation and stop underestimating them. We women are sexual creatures too, so don't assume that you can be everything to them if they can't be everything to you.

And, if your wife has already been hurt over and over again, please don't risk hurting her more by cheating on her. Talk to her already. You owe her that respect.

And Jason, I hope you will. And not just for your sake. Do it for your wife and prove to her that honesty is better and ultimately easier than duplicity.

Strangely scrupulous Sadie will step down from her soapbox now...